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Elbert Wurlings Bar
A rather peculiar name for a bar. This venue must literally be one of the only places to go out in hertford because it seems to attract people who are desperate to be there but for no visible reason. The building is a 1960’s arty build with big windows on the first floor looking out on the silent streets of hertford outside. There is an entrance fee, an empty area in front of the bar (which one would assume is dancing space) and booths along the side wall, all of which are hire-able. Take the stairs down to the second floor and fine a low ceiling, dark long room with another bar running along it. It has to be said that Elbert has a very serious problem. When you reach seven deep at the bar and drinkers are left thirsty while bar people jeer and play with one another, pouring the slowest cocktails man has ever know, it becomes the most frustrating venue. Like trying to pick up a super glued coin from a busy street it becomes a matter of abandoning drinking to sit and sulk in a corner while the mutton squeezes around you to trying and fleck hips as if dancing.
Overall poor elbert needs to hang up his hat. Maybe its just that it gets overcrowded at the weekends but I could see it as any kind of premium experience worth paying for but then if it is the only thing about then what are the inhabitants of this poor town to do? At least the bar girl - Christella, was more than accommodating - she deserves a raise! Only a 4/10.
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15 responses so far ↓
1 Luxinbrasil // Jan 11, 2009 at 1:34 am
I grew up in herts….and it must be about 15 yrs since ive heard the name ~elbert wurlings~and yet everything you said was true of the times when i visited….what i dont understand is why youre there on NYE….especially when you have some quite reasonable places around the corner..~Baroosh~to name but one!
2 Peter // May 13, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I visited Elberts one evening, I was dragged out and not entirly in the mood for a club abd Elberts was actually quite fitting. There is nothing worse than a crowded, smelly, bad music club, where as Elberts was to begin with a very relaxed atmosphere. I dont dance ever, and it was nice to have the option of sitting on the comfortable leather recliners enjoying a drink with your friends without looking like a downy on the dancefloor, plus the girl serving us drinks, Molly I believe took our money, and brought beer back to us which was alot easier than standing around the bar waving notes. I just wish I had the confidence to ask for her number!
3 Lou // Sep 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Hi,
I found myselft at Elberts a little worse for wear and to my surprise I heard a really good band called yan smut and whatever they were great when are they playing again?
4 Blah // Oct 9, 2009 at 12:03 am
I live in Hertford and find it somewhat offensive that you have referred to it as a ‘poor town’. It has a rich heritage and there is a plethora of bars and pubs that cater for literally everyone. Elberts is one of over 20 drinking holes in Hertford and it has to be said it can get overcrowded, but never unbearable.
Baroosh is an utter waste of space; it’s filled with pompous middle aged posers (as are a few other spots in the town) and to Peter, Molly might be nice looking but she is a total bitch!
Lou,
The band you’re thinking of are called Jan Smut and Clementine and they really aren’t my cup of tea. I’m surprised you like them (actually I’m surprised anyone likes them). To my mind they’re the kind of band that should never leave their garage and if they do, should only be heard when, as you were, a little worse for wear (or a lot!)
All in all, Hertford is a great place to live and grow up, and there are far worse places to find yourself then Elbert Wurlings!
P.S. the name Elbert Wurlings is eponymous and comes from the current owner, Nick Shipton’s, grandfather.
5 james // Nov 23, 2009 at 10:09 pm
hello, in answer to your question ” lou “, im jan smut & clementines front man, and we’ll probably be playing elbert wurlings soon, maybe sometime in february or something? heres our myspace http://www.myspace.com/jansmuttclementine =] keep in touch =] and ” blah ” thanks for all the love and support
we’re 16 and it was our third gig =]
6 erm, no you didn't // Nov 23, 2009 at 10:14 pm
erm i would just like to point out that jan smut and clementine are really good actually perfectly sober, and as a group of like 16/17 year olds there actually doing pretty well so i think that comment was quite frankly very unkind not to mention untrue, they may not be your cup of tea, but hey not all of us can have good music taste.
7 erm, no you didn't // Nov 23, 2009 at 10:20 pm
The band you liked were indeed called Jan Smut and Clementine, and they are amazing, and in response to “Blah’s” comment, they are actually very talented, and for a group of 16/17 year olds there doing pretty well, so i find that comment completely unneccesary, given they may not be your cup of tea but, hey not everyone can have good music taste.
8 ermno // Nov 23, 2009 at 10:38 pm
the band is indeed called Jan Smut and Clementine, and they are amazing they play around the herts area quite a bit, and in response to “Blah’s” comment, they are a very talented band, and i find that comment completely unnecessary, especially for a group of 16/17 year olds there doing pretty well so lay off, yes perhaps they aren’t your “cup of tea” but we can’t all have good music taste yeah?
9 zexdrtcvbl;.lvgfczsxcyvjybjkmlnjb.. :D // Nov 26, 2009 at 12:02 am
well i think they are AWESOME.
and i know plenty of people agree with me on that.
‘blahh’, your just being bitchy and that comment was unnecessary, nasty and actually extremely rude.
if they arent your cup of tea, then dont listen to them!
stop being so horrible.
id love to see you play better?
ILOVEJANSMUT&CLEMENTINE<3
10 Oliver Butler // Nov 26, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I love Elbert Werlings more than life itself.
11 Jake // Dec 4, 2009 at 5:54 pm
S’up to anyone who may be reading. I’m Jan Smut’s bassist, Jake. Just to let anyone interested know, we’ll be playing Elbert Werlings THIS THURSDAY, the 10th. Merry Christmas
x
12 Jake // Dec 4, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Ayup, to any who may be reading this. I’m Jake, Jan Smut’s bassist, and just to let any interested know, we’ll be playing Elbert Werlings this THURSDAY, the 10th DEC. Merry Christmas all
x
13 Lou // Dec 13, 2009 at 12:03 am
Hey Jan Smut soory I missed you on Thursday playing but busy. Don’t worry about comment from BLAH!! He seems very bitter and obviously has some “ISSUES”. He should stick to drinking tea…alone….in a garage. From his comments he sounds a very nasty piece of work, I know everybody has an opinion but when they get personal you wonder why? Perhaps he is from another band and has a touch of the green eyed monster. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! AND GET MORE GIGS x
14 Pathetic Attempt // Jan 20, 2010 at 7:20 pm
I have only ever been to Elbert Wurlings once and it didn’t take me much to decide that i was never going to go back again. I don’t mind paying £3.20 for a bottle of Peroni, in fact, these places are generally quite good because i can avoid all the scrots. I’ve worked in several bars and pubs and i can honestly say that the bar staff at Elbert Wurlings bring shame to every member of the Barstaff community globally. It took me two bar staff to actually retrieve me a bottle of peroni, the member of staff who i gave my coat to then stood there for several moments wondering what i can only assume was whether to put it away or marry it and then didn’t give me a ticket to get it back. The staff appeared to be standing around leaning on the back bar when it was around 5 deep at the bar. It kind of reminded me of when i broke my arm and waited for four hours in A+E to be seen. I then ventured on downstairs only to be greeted with more dissapointment, it felt like i was in a long queue waiting for absolutely nothing. I decided to leave after my one bottle of beer and head off to Blackbirds or Stonehouse. BUT! Not before being pissed off yet again. I went to retrieve my coat and it took me not one, not two, but THREE! people to actually get it for me but the lass (god bless her heart for having to work with such idiots) took me to get it myself. I’ve worked in several bars and pubs and had i have treated customers the way i’d have been treated i’d have been dismissed immediately. Overall, i would like to thank everyone at Wurlings for giving me such a piss-poor service and if anyone would like me to join them for a night out at Wurlings, thanks for the offer, but i think i have to take the rubbish bags out tonight.
15 Steve // Jul 19, 2010 at 12:26 pm
I had a mixed experience at elberts recently, the underground club underneath Hertford House Hotel seemed quite exclusive and the music was good. I got served by a bartender called Will, who served a wickid Singapoore Sling, i then went back after drinking this to be served by a tall slim bartender i think called Laurence and he didnt have a clue how to make it, it was a complete different colour and tasted like urine!
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